A measure of the activation and readiness level of coffee systems of mass production and smaller coffee systems.

Consists of five Coffee Conditions:

COFCON 5 Reserved for coffee deprived times. Usually at night times. An upgrade in coffee production preparedness is typically made by the Joint Chiefs of Staff and announced by the Central Coffee Command every morning.

COFCON 4 This refers to normal, increased intelligence and the heightening of probability to think of coffee. Readiness remains at this level throughout most of the day.

COFCON 3 This refers to an increase to coffee system readiness above normal. Radio call signs used by Cofcon Forces change to classified call signs. Coffee system readiness tests are run on a regular basis.

COFCON 2 This refers to a further increase in coffee readiness just below maximum readiness. The spin up of all coffee systems of mass production has been authorised. It has not been declared only once, during the Bonn Coffee Crisis.

COFCON 1 This refers to maximum readiness. It is reserved for imminent or ongoing deployment of steaming hot, black and tasty coffee.